Sheer heart attack

This email exchange that just happened at my college was cynical, but funny:
From: [our director of physical plant]
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 8:34 AM
Subject: AED – Automated External Defibrillator – sudden cardiac arrest

Good Morning,

Through the generosity of [a local charity], we have added an additional Automated External Defibrillator (AED) on campus to aid in the event of sudden cardiac arrest. This unit is located in the break room on the first floor of [the administration building]. We also have one available in [the athletics complex] next to the training room. [Continues with instructions on how to use it, etc.]
From: [A professor, and no, it wasn’t yours truly]
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 8:44 AM
Subject: RE: AED – Automated External Defibrillator – sudden cardiac arrest

This is a good thing. Should we ever get a really decent pay raise or students become more interested in what we are teaching than in their grades, sudden cardiac arrest could become epidemic on campus.

[prof’s name]

P.S. Please don’t be frightened by this. The probability of either of these two scenarios occurring is less than the probability of being hit by a meteorite while walking across campus.

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