While moving some of the last remaining items from a temporary storage unit into the apartment, this morning, I came across a DVD of the amazing Deyang acrobatics troupe which we bought at one of their performances in Beijing back in 2004. Most of the text on the box and in the DVD is in Mandarin, with English translations. I thought this bit in English from the DVD box was, er, interesting:
These programs are given enthusiastically by young and fine-figured Sichuan (a southwestern province in China) boys and girls who have down-to-earth basic techniques and are good at performing. Their stimulating and unexpectedly wonderful performances will sure let you have too much to watch, feel fresh, find everything new, and have your eyes greatly feasted on.
I guess they don’t employ an English-speaker to check their work.
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Casting Out Nines 
Hilarious! Wasn’t it the movie, “Shrek,” that told us about Ogres that like to feast on the jelly from our eyes? “Actually, it’s quite good on toast.”